Monday, February 25, 2013

Gretchen, stop trying to make Scroogled happen! It's not going to happen!

Something you should know about me is that I don't watch a lot of TV. It's mostly a function of not having much time, a short attention span, and a low tolerance for boredom. Every so often something truly awesome (like Sherlock) will cross my path and I won't sleep until I finish, but for the most part I'm not too into TV.

On the other hand, I do like watching some stuff on the internet. Reviews of games, or nostalgic stuff, or books. And I like supporting people who make things I enjoy watching, so I don't install ad-blocking software.

But. This ad. Is driving. Me. CRAZY.

What even... Where do I start?

These are the most squeaky-clean people I have ever seen in the history of ever. What is he staring at when she's reading over his shoulder? Why is he lying across the ENTIRE DESK? Who does that? Why is his part GOUGED into the side of his skull so that he's got some kind of Justin Bieber hair bounce at the front? Why is she wearing a wig and why isn't it a better one? WHY DID HE FALL OFF HIS CHAIR? Are they trying to imply that he's fat? Because I didn't hear the chair break... I also didn't hear him hit the floor, so apparently he's levitating. Why does Wig Lady have Spiderman's ability to catch plates out of thin air?

Why does she take a four-centimeter-square piece of pie? Why is she eating with her teeth stretched out like this?

So many questions, but no answers. If I see this ad again I may be forced to commit bodily harm to my laptop screen.


  1. Bing advertising in general has been pretty shoddy. On one hand I was impressed that their advertising hits the root of the search engine competition, which is that we all trust Google and will use it exclusively unless we are shown that either a) another engine is better somehow or b) Google is somehow fucking us over. Bing is attacking both a and b, but the b (as shown above) is pretty terrible so far. On the other hand, the commercials that cover a are perfect... blind test on the streets showing random people that use Google but realize they like Bing better. It's pretty corny but more effective, I think.


    1. Good point. Those ads are more convincing, though I must say I haven't switched over from Google yet. I think the concept of both could work in theory, they've just implemented it really poorly. They need to stop taking lessons from T-Mobile.

    2. The implementation is definitely piss poor, which is a shame. Some competition will make all search engines better, I'm sure. Bing seems busier to me... I don't like search engine results with too much clutter. Even google has been adding more crap along the sides that we don't need.

      The biggest thing Bing has against them is that we don't "search" for thing on the internet, we google them. It's such second nature to type google first or click on the google bar. Obviously you can just get a bing bar but it'll take awhile for people to say "bing it."


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