Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Six easy ways to save on Valentine's Day

1. Your neighbor has a rosebush, right?

2. Actually, scratch that. No roses. They're too predictable and over-commercialized anyway, right? It's like dogs - you breed too many too fast and they start biting you. Or something. Get your special someone a bouquet that will really stand out from the crowd!

You trigger my prey selectivity, Valentine!

3. Anything in red packaging is going to be overpriced right now. Instead, go for the early bird special on Easter candy! When your sweetheart asks what the deal is and why you didn't buy them chalk hearts with more limited vocab than twitter, tell them, "It's because you make my heart hop, Valentine!"

4. Okay, so sending presents to someone's office is romantic. And so is serenading. Therefore, it only stands to reason that the most romantic thing in the world is showing up to someone's work and singing them love songs in front of their coworkers. BAM. Done.

5. There's always the sympathy vote. If you can't think of anything, pretend to break your leg. If your cupcake is particularly sharp on the uptake, really break your leg.

6. If all else fails, just dump them.

As you can probably tell, Valentine's Day for my fiance is one of mingled disbelief and horror - as it was always meant to be! I am usually the proud recipient of the "You Tried" award.


  1. Come on, the "you tried" award is the most sincere! This is all SOLID.

  2. I got a huge kick out of "my prey selectivity" :D All joking aside, though, it's refreshing to see that there are women out there that take Valentine's Day less seriously than Donald Trump's presidential campaign that aren't bitter and/or single. If you need a special day once a year for your man/woman to show that they care, well damn.