Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Wedding Cult

It's amazing how "I'm not having a wedding" turns into "NO REALLY I'M REALLY NOT HAVING A WEDDING", isn't it?

Even though I'm just going to the courthouse to get married, it's somehow turned into an ~event~. Which was the total opposite of what I wanted, but there's just very little you can say when people are willing and eager to show up to five minutes of you singing your name. But I'll budge on that. What I won't budge on is throwing a party.

In spite of a vast and unabated love for all things Disney, I somehow completely escaped wedding culture. In spite of attending several and being a bridesmaid at several more, I still just kind of don't get it. I like weddings fine, don't get me wrong, but I feel the same way about weddings that I do about model railroads: just fine, if a little odd, but definitely nothing I want to invest my time or money into.

Maybe a big part of it is that I'm just not a very visually artistic person. Even as a kid I didn't really like fingerpainting. I think a lot of people love the idea of creating this design masterpiece of a party, but I'm pretty meh on that idea personally.

Other people definitely enjoy being the center of attention for a day. I never feel particularly starved for attention, lol. I don't crave the spotlight, but I don't go around feeling ignored, so this one doesn't really speak to my soul either.

And of course, some people just want the chance to gather their friends and family together for a big party. But I hate parties and usually spend them supporting the wall, and I already spend a ton of time with my close friends and family (I think it's been about five years since I've gone more than 24 hours without some kind of contact with my BFF), so that's also a non-issue.

I guess this got a bit off track - the point is, there's lots of reasons to have a big fun wedding, but the main one should be that you want a big fun wedding. Which I don't. I can't help thinking it's a pretty silly world when someone asks me, "Don't you want to celebrate your love for one another?"

Well... no?

B is probably the best thing that ever happened to me. But no matter how many times people try to convince me that I'll regret for the rest of my life not throwing a huge party in celebration of our love, I remain unconvinced.

The whole thing starts to take on these guilty overtones, like, if you really loved one another you'd want to have a wedding! Are you ashamed of your love? Is it lukewarm? Is it undeserving of at least thirty five reality shows dedicated to its process?

Well, I guess that's possible. But six months after we initially met (and B immediately lost my phone number), when we met again, we still liked each other enough to give it a go. And six years after we got together (the day before Valentine's Day, which we both summarily ignored because seriously that is awkward one day into a relationship), we still like each other pretty well. Not that you could tell by Facebook - I think we've interacted on Facebook a total of 3 times, to tag the very few pictures we've put up. Even if you were hanging out with us, you probably wouldn't think about it much; PDA is a no-no for us around our friends, many of whom are single and (let's be real) none of whom want to see that.

Much like our relationship, B and I's wedding will take place largely behind the scenes. We just don't need a party.


  1. I like weddings, too. But I'm not much for big shindigs. I went to a huge wedding a year ago and while it was a lot of fun, it's just not something I want for myself, so I understand where you're coming from.

    Congratulations on your no-wedding! ^_^

  2. Thank god you're not having a wedding. I would feel compelled the Pinterest the hell out of it.