Facebook: Life… yeah I mean it's like whatever… you know how it is… anyway might be offline for a while, so hit me up on the cell… tell me if you don't have my number, yo…
Twitter: If you don't know about the dog park, I don't know what to tell you, bro. (But srsly if you don't RT I'll sic the glow cloud on you.)
Tumblr: You guys I just saw the new snippet of the new interview for the new preview for the new season of Sherlock and FEELS, THE FEELS, I CANNOT EVEN, if you like it then put a trigger warning on it, but seriously what's up with being an adult I seriously cannot, I cannot even, byeeeeee
Instagram: Just tossed up for funsies a pic of myself where I casually put on a vat of makeup, photoshopped myself skinnier, and applied twelve filters. Off to drinkkkk, lol!
Facebook: Now I see how it really is… it's cool, it's fine… anyway, like I said, going offline… lemme know if you need the cell #
Snapchat: *We apologize; it seems this content has disappeared. But it was naked.*
AIM: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude everyone using this was a kid in the 90s. Their profiles probably still have creatively colored New Found Glory lyrics.
Youtube Comments: u suk man watever u so uglee diaf
LinkedIn: Are any of us hired yet?
Facebook: I can be bad all by myself… you know how I do… off to do me, offline… if anyone needs it, I'll post my cell number in the comments…