|Check out Fairy Godmother voguing|
|On an unrelated note, this is a lovely time of year to visit Disney World!|
"I know you're going to surprise us with an incredible feast." Yes, after meeting you at a ball, getting married, and having been on our extremely short honeymoon, I've known you for a total of three days, Cinderella. Thank goodness I know you so well now or all of this would be really weird.
This woman named Prudence (TOO SUBTLE) gets tasked with telling Cinderella all the ways in which she sucks and is not princessy enough. She can't tell cream from ecru, so she runs to her room sobbing hysterically about how she isn't good enough.
|Crying after an extremely minor and stupid setback is|
definitely the Disney Princess way.
This isn't a message I'm particularly interested in passing on to little girls, but it also wouldn't have been difficult to stick to Cinderella's personality traits (such as they are) of tolerance and faith. The only characteristic the screenwriters seem to have been aware of is "boring".
She's also not very bright. Cinderella has a meltdown and wants to know why they have to play by the royal rules. "And that rule about not letting commoners in the palace!" Yes, you have fun doing crowd control, Cinderelly.
And then there's a truly terrible pop song. It's not even being sung by an angsty teen princess. It's just meebling on the background about following your dreams while Cinderella waltzes around the town handing out invites to commoners, OH MY MOST IRREGULAR.
Yeah, the ball turns out to be the most wonderful thing a human being has ever done ever; try not to fall out of your seat in shock.
Then Jaq the mouse decides that he wants to be human. The Fairy Godmother apparently has nothing better to do than to poof around granting wishes willy-nilly to rodents, so she agrees, and turns him into Johnny Appleseed.
|Fairy Godmother is a jerk.|
There's some other big fair that's somehow a circus with electricity, and there's an elephant, and Jaq scares it into submission by turning back into a mouse. Yes, this story is exactly as pointless as it sounds.
The final part of Cinderella II involves the evil stepsister Anastasia. She's being groomed for yet ANOTHER royal ball (little-known to the populace, an invading army is on the doorstep of France). But when she meets a humble baker, it's love at first bite. (I REGRET NOTHING.) Evil Stepmother forbids their romance, but Cinderella offers to help Anastasia win his heart through dress-up.
|Cinderella is a lot more forgiving than I would be.|
|There's also an inane subplot about Lucifer falling in love with the castle|
cat, which is almost worth it for the payoff of this shot.
|Well this seems reasonable.|